why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
