my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
