i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
