big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
