Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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