Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
