Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
40s are totally the cure
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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