I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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