I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
