Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
