I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
