i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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