The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize