I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
