I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
