You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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