Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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