Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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