am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
