similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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