He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
