brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I faked an abortion last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
