I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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