Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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