Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
