When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
