Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
