We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
