and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
