Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
