so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
