there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
