I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
