Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
