I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
