I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's the barista slut.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
