Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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