You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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