she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
