right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Are we still banned from the library?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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