Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
