Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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