I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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