At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm always down for nudity.
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