i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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