After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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