he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
