my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This house was built for laser tag.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
