I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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