when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
